For the most part, I try to avoid politics, no doubt the consequence of living in the DC area for roughly a third of my life. But occasionally I’m motivated to write something. This, written right after the 1994 Republican takeover of Congress, would only need minor updates for today, alas.
We Do Not Like Big Government
By Tracy Carlson (with apologies to Dr. Seuss)
We do not like big government.
We hate to see tax money spent.
We represent the family man.
We know what works, we have a plan.
We would not, could not raise a tax.
We’ll smash them, slash them with an ax.
At local levels, Fed or state
It is big government we hate.
We’re sick of big-spend Democrats.
They’ve had their turn, enough at bats.
Try us, try us and you’ll see
How teeny government can be.
* * * *
The people spoke November 8th.
We heard them and we have their faith.
We know exactly what they meant:
They did not like THAT government.
But we’re the best white guys on earth!
We value life from seed till birth.
This country’s not for godless slobs,
Or shiftless youth, or moms with jobs.
It’s up to us to write the rules
For bedrooms, libraries and schools.
It’s what the government must do
And we’re the guys to see it through.
We will not, will not pay the tab
For wayward folk with moral flab.
We’ll pull the plug on slutty teens,
We’ll throw the book at gay Marines.
We’ll pull all funds from welfare brats
And stop constructing low-cost flats.
It’s prisons that we need to build!
And orphans’ halls—the people willed.
Our savings from the welfare roll
Keep Kansas farmers on the Dole.
And since we value our careers
We’ll fund more Lockheed engineers.
It’s Christian duty to promote
The groups from whom we need a vote,
Because we’re white and male and straight
And it’s BAD government we hate.
Who gives a hoot for dumb old trees
Or spotted owls, or toxic sleaze?
Those leftist eco-wimps are wacko:
Our threatened species is tobacco!
We’ve wasted time discussing health
When wealthy folk need greater wealth.
The glory-days of trickle-down
Will come when we pull into town.
We’ll show Bill’s quirks are really crime;
The world is ours—it’s payback time.
We DO believe in government
When we can foil our President.
We do so love GOOD government—
It’s what the people really meant.
We love to run it here and there.
We love to run it everywhere!
GOOD government is such a plus
When it’s controlled by guys like us.
We’ll give it our quick moral fix,
Then save the best for ’96!